( when runyu enters the main living area today (whether coming home from being out and about or simply stepping out of the bathroom post-bathing), he'll find the room empty, a note on the table in crisp, careful script: )
Runyu,
I've gone to check in on a friend who lives on the lake just north of Kulen. It's unlike him to fall out of contact. With the fog so close at hand, it's not impossible that something is amiss.
Xingchen
( but a couple of hours later, runyu's laptop receives a message: )
Runyu,
It is as I suspected. My friend ventured to Bavan yesterday and has yet to return. From what I can gather, a band of humans has arrived in the city and taken some of us captive. One can presume that so long as you pass as a resident of this world then you won't be bothered. I urge you to remain as far from Bavan as you're able. Should you choose to take the risk, please, be cautious - and I recommend you consider a more localized form of dress.
If my response is long in coming, it means I've already set out for Bavan. I plan to receive answers.
Xingchen
Re: nov 16th, early afternoon for the note + late afternoon for the text.
[ Runyu glares at the message that has appeared on his laptop before rising from his chair and pacing the small room. Arms crossed behind him as he glances out the window to the woods every few minutes. He still knows little about this realm and he is still without his powers and many of his skills are different without his chi. He does not want to cause trouble for his host but it is not right to leave him out there alone if he were to come across more trouble than he or his friend could handle alone. What is the best approach here?
He sighs and looks to the small set of number above the message, a kind of device for telling time, and scowls. Not much time has passed. ]
Is there honestly a way for him to stay behind without looking like a coward or unworthy of the assistance he has received?
[ Runyu drops his arms, decision made. ]
I… ha…ve… not hear… d fr…omyou… yet…. I … canwillll make… t he journ ey … to o… assisttt…
[Runyu shakes his head at his incompetence when using this device. More practice will be required.
He closes his eyes, choosing to meditate while he waits for some signal from Xingchen before taking further action.]
forward-dated to late morning of the 21st, five days later
( but the time spent in deliberation means that his response finds xingchen's laptop abandoned in lotus pier, the man having already made brisk tracks for bavan in the name of finding his friend.
in fact, unless runyu attends the circus (in which xingchen is featured - a blind, nine-tailed, waist-tall ivory fox leaping nimbly through flaming whips at the crack of a whip, but he disappears again once the chaos begins), he sees neither hide nor hair of his housemate for three, four, five days now...
but the morning after the circus falls apart, that selfsame fox makes his way through the front door and shoulders it shut behind him, each step dragging with fatigue. )
My friend, it's only me, ( he calls in from the entry, quiet and weary, as he heads for the room in which he has his personal belongings while runyu stays in his. if he hears or senses the man nearby, he cuts off any potential worry or questions with, ) I'll be right out.
( and then he disappears through the door, shouldering that one gently shut as well. around a minute later, it opens again, and the xingchen who emerges has shifted back into his night form (one which he remains trapped in for another day yet, thanks to the fog) and dressed in loose white clothing which accommodate his overlong legs and his wealth of tails.
at which point he stops, sighing out a - ) Forgive me if I worried you. It wasn't my intention. ( it might be presumptuous to assume that runyu cares enough to be worried, but xingchen doesn't quite have it in him to fuss about it.
as for his condition, he doesn't seem to bleeding (in part thanks to the one spot that is bleeding having been bandaged, the bandages hidden under his upper sleeve), though the claws that runyu is accustomed to seeing along with xingchen's night form are currently ten flat stubs cauterized well below the quick, extending just barely past his fingertips. aside from that, he mostly just seems tired, his usual poise drooping just slightly despite his best efforts. )
[ The mirror image of the Lotus Pier in Yunmeng is located at the northern shore of Lake Minska, right across from bug-infamous Kulen at the southern edge of the lake. The residence's walls rise up suddenly in the middle of nowhere, nestled between the shore and the forest. The large estate beyond lies still and lifeless, an estate built to house hundreds now occupied only by his sister Jiang Yanli and himself.
It is quite out of the way from all regular monster activity, just as Jiang Cheng likes it, but since he is expecting guests today, he is waiting for their arrival by the gates. For Xiao Xingchen alone, he wouldn't bother, he is a common enough visitor that he is trusted to navigate the compound by himself, but that would be rude towards a new guest. An elusive guest, Xiao Xingchen has mentioned his housemate but never in detail, guarding his privacy, and Jiang Cheng hadn't pried.
He looks up as he catches sight of them, one familiar, the other a stranger. He salutes, arms in front of him holding a sheathed sword. ]
Welcome to Lotus Pier.
[ OOC: Let's go posting order with Xingchen going next, then Runyu? ]
( to be entirely fair, runyu knows fairly little of jiang wanyin, either. perhaps not quite as little, since xingchen has made no particular effort to protect his privacy so much as to avoid inundating runyu with people to keep mental track of before he had properly settled in, but the end result was quite similar.
at least until today - throughout the walk here, he has offered his houseguest a bit more concrete information. before, he simply knew the name jiang wanyin, that the man lived not far away, and it seemed quite plain that he was xingchen's closest ally here. now, he has been told that jiang wanyin came from his very same realm, in which he led a sect of cultivators who protected those who could not protect themselves. he has also been told of jiang-xiong's designated monstrous form - a simulacrum, the primary trait of which seems to be the way an increasing proportion of their body becomes inorganic, as if made by man. such a thing isn't terribly obvious when you look at jiang wanyin, if the man himself is to be believed, but there's a tinny, hollow quality to his voice that would give such things away regardless.
(he didn't specify that this was in fact the friend who had an unpleasant time in the circus, but it certainly wouldn't be much of a logic leap to guess it - not that anyone here would actually bring such things up.)
the scent of jiang wanyin wafts their way from outside the front gate, because of course it does. in fact, jiang-xiong seems to have put on his sect-leaderly hosting voice, a fact that has xingchen's lips pressing together just slightly in humor he won't quite allow to show. instead, he slows to a stop a couple of yards from where the man waits, dipping his head in greeting before offering, ) Jiang Wanyin, this is Runyu. He arrived in November and has been a most gracious houseguest in the weeks since. ( a 'glance' to runyu, and - ) Runyu, my dearest friend Jiang Wanyin. ( it's fantastically unfair to make jiang-xiong scowl in front of his guest already, and that's likely exactly what those words have done, but what's said is said. )
Runyu smiles, offering Jiang the same courtesy he has offered, folding his hands and bowing his head over them. Wearing the same clothes he had arrived in, the gesture would usually remind him of the many times he has paid tribute to that woman simply to maintain harmony in the heavens; however, the action provokes none of the oppressive weight on his neck today. It may be the first time he’s ever felt the release from the shackles that have come with such a simple but expected formality.
For a few moments, he allows himself to wonder what has changed, and what has altered is honestly quite simple. It isn’t being in a new realm where no one knows who he is and what part he has to play for the heavens. Or even being returned to a place of no power and normal skill. It’s having the possibility of trusting more than himself or even one person.
The scales that have healed with the fog itch momentarily as if to remind him of what he’s learned from the past.
Runyu returns to the present, letting his voice drown out the doubts.
Thank you for the invitation. It’s an honor to meet a friend of Xingchen who has been the very essence of hospitality and honor. I hope there comes a time I can repay him for all he has done.
( had xingchen not left the house in quite such a rush, he would have checked in with runyu quite a bit sooner. instead, the thought occurs to him as he darts through the snowy forest in the form of a fox, not at all suited to sending a message - and even when he did break to receive jiang wanyin's update, he couldn't afford to linger any further. there's only so long that a man can crouch nude in a blizzard, after all, regardless of the importance of it.
but now, he has left the forest, striking out into the open plains where no tree canopy lingers overhead to catch some of the elements before they reach the ground. here, the snow comes up above the knees - and it's this that has forced him back into his bipedal form, far less suited to the elements even with quite so many layers of clothing but much more capable of navigating the deeper snow. it's much slower this way, almost fustratingly so, but at the very least it allows xingchen to function his laptop.
and so runyu receives a message. )
My friend - are you alright?
Jiang Wanyin told me what has happened. I should be there by morning.
[ Runyu has almost forgotten the fact that he had brought a laptop with him to the resort for this event, but chiming reminds him when he returns to his room. The abominations -- he has stopped referring to them as monsters because some here embrace that word without the slur -- seem to prefer appearing where more people reside. They may attack lone people in rooms but they do not linger. It's how he has managed to catch a few hours of sleep, after barricading the door.
Now, he nibbles on the bread he has taken from the rations as he sends a reply. It is useful and heartening to hear from a friend at this time. ]
Jiang Wanyin is more conscientious about informing others than I have been. I am mostly uninjured. The majority of our enemy here had been humans. They don't have experience but they do have numbers.
( that seems to be jiang wanyin's tactic, as well - sneak away unseen, barricade the door, rest while he's able. it seems wise, from what outside perspective xingchen has been given.
meanwhile, only once he receives a response does xingchen realize how fretful he had truly been. the faint warmth of relief washes through him even before he's properly listened to the words, though he does so now, considering all of that which runyu says. )
Courtesy is hardly important right now. I'm just glad that you're mostly unharmed.
You say they had been humans - have they all been taken over so quickly?
( jiang wanyin had impressed upon him the danger of the situation, certainly, but had failed to convey that they were any sort of outnumbered. though perhaps that makes entirely too much sense, considering who it is that gave him such information. in all likelihood, jiang wanyin sees no 'them' and 'us' - only himself, those who are confirmed to be taken over, and those whom he isn't yet sure of. )
( it was afternoon when he departed for lotus pier, letting runyu know in passing where it was that he was headed (with a careful effort to sound normal and not-at-all disquieted about it). for the blood-feeding, he mentioned without quite leaving an opening for protest. not that there necessarily would be protest, but runyu guessed at his death quite quickly and such a thing as losing blood might not necessarily seem like the wisest of concepts so soon after his revival. but it would be fine, xingchen was quite assured. at least in regards to the feeding.
which turned out to be true. that was the part that turned out fine, with the visit falling to hell and back before they even reached the topic of feeding. and while xingchen left lotus pier at relative ease with how all of it ended up, he left with quite a bit to mull over in the solitude of the walk home. enough that he didn't bother to hasten the trip by shifting to travel by fox.
enough that he's half-distracted even as he steps through the front door to their woodland home, not quite stopping to think that this would have been the precise occasion in which it would've been smart to stop and think. if he did, it would've occurred to him quite how it might look to poor runyu, seeing him step through the door with the bandaging around his eyes stained a deep red and some blood on his sleeves and his collar as well. )
I'm home, ( he calls quietly as he shuts the door behind him, loud enough for runyu to hear from his room but quiet enough not to startle him if he's as close as the kitchen table. ) Forgive the hour, time slipped away from me.
[ Runyu is indeed at the kitchen table, as he often finds himself lingering there. It is the best view towards the woods and he seems more at ease with a table by him. There's a fresh pot of tea by his arm, as well. The former immortal is quick to rise, ready reassure his friend that there is no need to hurry on his account or the late hour.
However, the placating words die in his throat at the sight that greets him.
Even if Xingchen’s voice seems calm, his appearance is a stark contrast, blood on his collar and sleeves, and most alarmingly, his eyes. Deep, dark stains. From that moment, Runyu can’t control his emotions or his expression. He gapes and can’t speak, fear strangling him. There could be a rational reason to this sight, but Runyu is too distraught at the sight of his friend’s blood at a time when he has bridged the gap between them. It’s different than the first time this has happened but it’s similar. He had had to confront the anguish between them there. Here, he has taken a step out of the shadows that cloak him since his fall.
Is it the end? Has he taken a wrong step for all again? ]
I-
[ He can’t escape the memories and the creeping terror. He can’t separate this sight with the past. Too many wounds have been ripped open in spite of his friend’s attempts to release him. Too many moments play in the back of his mind again. ]
( at first, all seems just as it should be. xingchen smells tea, fresh tea (not awaiting his arrival, he hopes? all the more reason he feels a bit bad for returning later than intended), and he hears movement at the kitchen table, runyu rising to greet him -
but then the man seems to stop short, to so terribly tense where he stands that xingchen can nearly feel it from where he himself slows to a mildly bemused stop. 'i-' ) My friend? ( two words laced with concern. because as bemusing as the sudden stop might have been, the tone in that single halting 'i-' was far more worrisome. he quietly reels for what could have caused such a change, listening, scenting their surroundings for clues - all the while prompting,) Is something -
( but he doesn't quite finish his own words, either, stopping short with a quiet 'ah' of comprehension, because xingchen has realized what might very well have done it. he's gotten so terribly used to the smell of blood in the journey home that he's managed to forget about it, but it's certainly not forgettable-looking, of this he's quite certain.
exhaling a quiet sigh, he shakes his head, smooth steps closing the distance between them until he can lift a hand to runyu's shoulder. ) My friend, please be at ease, I haven't been injured. If you'll allow me a moment to make myself more presentable, I can explain over tea - does that sound alright?
Bravery such as yours deserves to be rewarded especially when the world is cruel. I hope you and your Grunkle made it through that event in better health than most I've heard about.
( it has been three days now since xingchen consumed the cackling, incoherent remains of xue yang and disappeared off into the woods to bring himself back to some semblance of stability in privacy. he hasn't yet revisited the house - in part because the death-scent lingering just a few yards off into the woods tells his instincts to avoid for reasons he can't quite grasp, and in part because there's no strong need to return to a den in which he has no intention of sleeping.
(xingchen hasn't slept in three days now. that only mildly strikes him as odd, for the time being - if only because everything about this form is as odd as it is instinctual.)
it's a familiar scent which draws him back today, one which he follows through the trees to its origin at the cottage in the woods. but though he carries many a dim memory of continuing on up the path and entering the home, something stops him at the treeline with a flicker of uncertainty. he can't quite bring himself to approach any further. a sort of comfort lies in the shadow of the trees, something palpable which he can feel even if he isn't able to see it.
and so the next time runyu looks or steps outside, he'll spot a hulking white fox-beast lying on the ground just beyond where the trees begin. as alarming as the beast may be, it's entirely recognizable upon second glance - the lack of eyes, for one, not to mention the wealth of tails flicking restlessly behind him.
ears swivel abruptly to runyu the moment he makes some manner of sound, but no further move is made. )
[ Xingchen might have consumed his loved one, but Runyu has been unable to. And by the time he’s stumbling towards their home, his only sanctuary, she’s become a grotesque creation on his left arm. Long eyelashes drooping with madness covering two eyes constantly leaking tears, a burn that’s branded into his elbow on both sides and a mouth on the soft side of his lower arm, red lips wailing over and over into the night, she’s completely fused to him and still screaming at him to end it. Runyu’s clothes are a wreck, ripped and bloodied in multiple places, hanging off his body as if he were a corpse. There are bruises on his face and a cut over his left temple with dried crusted blood, scratches on his arms, as if he wrestled with a thorn bush, and bandages wrapped around his torso. The blood sword in his left hand scrapes along the ground as he uses the tip as if it were a cane, dragging himself along, eyes are bloodshot with the tears he’s shed along the way. He’s long forgotten what he must appear to anyone else. He only wants to find home.
His right hand, the one with the mermaid pearl bracelet on his wrist, clenches around a broken chord, the coin pendant pressed bloody against his hand. It’s the only light he has left.
The only guide he has to end this nightmare. ]
Li-er, free Mother. Let her go. You can’t keep doing this. ( The weeping of a woman petters off for a few slow, agonized steps before a screech tears at the night scenery. ) YOU DUMB BOY HOW-HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME! CAN’T YOU DO ONE THING RIGHT?! This, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!
[ Runyu collapses on the ground, ducking his head. ]
I can’t, Mother. I can’t.
[ His body is quaking. He's curled around the arm that now holds the remnants of her. But he can’t kill her. He can’t witness that again. Even if this is a horrible curse set upon him, it’s one thing he can’t bear. His hand tighten to the point of another trickle of blood running down his arm from where the coin is digging into his skin.
( it would be a profound understatement to say that today has been a particularly long day. by now, it feels very much like a handful of days packed messily into one, and it's hard to imagine that xingchen had made the trek to lager woods just this morning. so much has happened since then, most of which was set aside by necessity when the situation became one of somewhat immediate life and death - but now things are quite a bit less dire, and the details have begun to reform from the messy amalgamation at the back of his mind.
like runyu, lost amidst the very fog which sent xingchen back to the coffin house he had so recently departed. he has no true worry that runyu might still be out there - xingchen had warned him of the disorienting nature of the mist, the way it had separated him from jiang wanyin once already, and had urged runyu to meet him back at their home if such a thing were to come to pass. his dear friend has likely retreated there by now, however diligent his search to find xingchen - but since then he's gotten no word, no sign of life. he must be terribly concerned. xingchen certainly would be.
that was part of his decision to depart from lotus pier - apart from the undeniable fact that jiang wanyin deserves to rest and recover from today in a way that he won't be able to if he's fretting uselessly over xingchen's throat, the thought of runyu anxiously pacing the length of their sitting room and kitchen is more than enough reason to make his way home as soon as he's able, to put runyu's mind at relative ease.
'relative' being the key word, of course. xingchen doesn't expect a great degree of success, considering... well. considering the state in which he's returning. and not just that, xingchen recalls as much in a rush just fifteen minutes from home. runyu learned of his death this morning, too, and they may not have had time for the man to dwell on that at the time, but he has had many troubled hours since to roll it around in his mind, to wound himself on the sharpest of its edges without xingchen there to intervene.
what an unfortunate time to have to travel by foot instead of fox. xingchen recognizes the necessity of it - shifting would disrupt the bandaging and quite possibly some of the scant healing the fog has granted him thus far - but that does nothing to ease his worry, and though he travels now without his false-sight to assist him, he picks up the pace of his steps regardless.
it's an hour or so before sunset when xingchen finally makes his way through the front door of the cottage in the woods, closing it behind him with perhaps a bit more care than necessary as he listens, senses, attempting to gather where runyu might be and his prevailing state. for his own part, the xingchen who arrives is quite a bit less concerning than the one jiang wanyin dragged from the coffin home, and honestly, less concerning even than the one which runyu discovered there as well. his posture has recovered its usual poise, and his steps are steady. the robes he now wears are crisp and clean, albeit an incriminating shade of purple (there's truly no denying that his own were no longer in any state to wear), and pristine white bandaging is wrapped around his throat and one hand. but though it may be clean, the bandaging is heavy, wrapped thick around layers of gauze to absorb any further bleeding. his eyes, too, are bandaged more heavily now. perhaps not with gauze, but a second tighter layer of bandaging now sits inside his usual blindfold.
as soon as he locates runyu, his lips curl in a faint reassuring smile, and he steps a bit further into the kitchen to set frostwork (also diligently cleaned) aside on a patch of counter. ) My friend, forgive me, ( is his greeting, warm but with a notes of regret and concern, ) I didn't intend to worry you. Are you alright? ( xingchen can't quite smell any blood beyond the faint muffled scent of his own, but he's not yet prepared to trust his own senses with something quite so important. )
[ Runyu manages a small smile in spite of the crippling relief that runs through him when Xingchen finally enters the house. Words are difficult though. Perhaps, if he were a regular person with purposeful positive contact with others, such a question would receive the natural response, but even if he understands that death is an illusion here, the temporary absence of his friend has left Runyu in too much turmoil for the pleasantries.
Xingchen had already been bleeding when they’d been separated. From his hand and from his throat. Where Runyu had realized how his friend had died after all of the suffering Xue Yang put him through but couldn’t ask due to the need to deal with his friend’s burdens while the bleeding caused by the ominous fog was minimal. While any from his own past were minimal. And if that hadn’t been all he needed to worry about, the fog had kept shifting and revealing more bodies to bury. Pulling out more witnesses, more false faces, to Xingchen’s unfortunate sins. Their time together in the woods, in the Coffin House, had been short relatively, but the details there had stirred up a storm of tangled emotions.
The disdain for the forces at work in the woods settle in him the most, a familiar darkness he could retreat to when rage is impotent without a name or face to condemn. When his most important friend has been suffering for most of a day without him and he’s helpless to assist without causing more worry. Because he couldn’t escape that phantomed malice unscathed either.
Shortly after being separated, Runyu had collapsed, coughing up a mouthful of blood on the ground as a certain chest wound finally reopened, one when opened he could no longer sustain without repercussions without his immortal powers. Swallowing bile, Runyu had had no choice but to retreat lest worse wounds pummel him, either from the battle between his brother and himself or worst, his punishment at the hands of the Immortals of Thunder and Lightning. Staying longer would have been a detriment to them both, and that was something Runyu would not allow on his weakened friend if he were the cause.
He’d take any misfortunes for himself but he would allow none from his person to haunt Xingchen, selfish though that may be. His gratitude, no, friendship demands such, at the very least.
And fortunately, the residual pain from that wound abated with his departure from the area, hastened by him daring to take to the skies to reach home fast enough to deal with it on his own.
It isn’t only the pain and exertion from the wound that detains Runyu for the better part of an hour. The blow had been a merciful one, not meant to take his life, after all. However, the wakened burn in his chest brings up a twisted mix of relief and regret, borne from his sins of the past and being forever unable to finish atoning for them as long as he clings to this reality. Stalling the bleeding with gauze and bandages is tantamount to refusing to look back this time and accepting the sin of such an action. It’s exhausting, even if he feels, once more, liberated by it when he’s clothed himself in new robes and has prepared a pot of tea.
Then, the pot of tea grows cold, and the sun moves across the horizon. Worry turns inward, blaming his choices for anything that has happened to his friend, wrestling with images of him dying alone in that haunted scene. He tries holding the amulet that gives him so much peace, a wellspring of hope, even going into meditation with his hand clasped around it. But the pressing of time in this reality refuses to let go of him. Perhaps it would be better if he had paced the room as Xingchen has done before, but he’s far too used to nurturing the darkest fears of his mind alone, in stillness and silence.
Twice he nearly goes to the guqin but fails to find the courage to approach it, too trapped in the miasma of harm that could have befallen his friend to seek its sweet comfort.
Finally he has risen to start some food, something that neither of them need but sometimes offers comfort to them, and yet he couldn’t seem to get past the sluggish movements of gathering the ingredients.
The strike of clarity that reaches him with Xingchen’s voice and appearance is heartening, but this is the first time Runyu has ever waited so long for someone to come back to him since accepting the importance of Ryslig. It’s too easy to lose himself in the wounds he’s caused others and could have caused Xingchen simply by wishing to be allowed to stay by him longer. His throat remains stuck, even more so as he examines him for harm, filing each bandage and change away for a couple more minutes. To take better note of when his head is truly clear of the darkness of his fear and loneliness. Being unable to talk and mindful of his friend’s state, he instead reaches, the fingers trembling, for his arm and takes hold of his sleeve. He can’t harm him further because there’s a wave of need inside him for just holding him, yet another thing no one has allowed him.
Xingchen doesn’t have to apologize for anything because he has come back. When Runyu’s past this weakness, it will be that simple, but for now, that same person wants to feel even a fraction of his friend's warmth without explaining himself. ]
OOC: Being kinda vague on the when exactly since I'm not sure when exactly things will heat up enough/he learns of it for JC to involve himself.
[ He had not intended to get involved in this matter between friends, but there comes a point when his annoyance and frustration with the matter is too great to keep silent. He has never been good at keeping silent anyway. ]
Runyu,
I don't care if you don't want to see or talk to anyone.
But make sure your business is resolved before you disappear, and don't make it someone else's mess to clean up. I don't want to know what happened with Altair. I don't care. But now Xiao Xingchen is forced to fight your battles.
Resolve this, or I will hunt you down and drag you back to Altair.
[ OOC: That's perfectly fine. At this point, we're going to wing some of the details. Just to get it going. If we miss something we'll figure it out then. ]
[ Runyu doesn't reply to the message. He hasn't even read it, having closed his laptop after Xingchen's three messages. The temptation to ignore the danger he presents is too great to keep watching. ]
( this could be worse. it's a sentiment such as that is clearly tempting fate, but xingchen is ever the optimist despite his best pragmatic efforts and it's true - this could be worse. perhaps jiang wanyin had flowers (wolfsbane, of all things) growing from beneath his skin, but they solved that quite efficiently in xingchen's subjective opinion. runyu, for his part, doesn't seem to have been affected - he isn't acting affected, at least, and xingchen can identify no further floral scents over the overbearing scent-taste of that which grows in his very own throat, and that will have to be verdict enough. it's not as though asking if runyu is affected would do any good. he knows far better than to think that his companion would actually tell him even if he were.
but it's hardly fair of him to pretend such a choice is entirely unilateral. apart from disclosing that he's affected mildly and intends to seek assistance from the facility in haftesal on the 20th, xingchen has gently but smoothly deflected any inquiry on his own condition thus far, even though stubbornly masking it as such is no doubt making it measurably more uncomfortable in the interim. but that's all well enough. discomfort isn't dangerous. perhaps it takes most of his discipline not to cough when each swallow constricts around little velvety vines, or when fluttering petals tickle at his throat with all but the shallowest of breaths. and perhaps the ache in each socket has swollen enough to throb faintly with each beat of his heart. and perhaps he might even be losing sleep, because no amount of discipline prepares one to fall asleep to the feeling of something writhing (slowly but diligently) along the alarmingly sensitive cavities where one's eyes should be.
but none of that, by xingchen's standards, is reason to adjust their plans. he chose to delay seeking aid for good reason, and wanyin had agreed - both to allow those who needed the procedure far more urgently to receive it first, and to monitor the outcomes thereof. these medical researchers seem to mean well enough thus far, but the blessedly slow progression of his own case of this 'death-flower disease' has granted him the luxury to wait and hear of at least the procedure's initial results.
or so he certainly thought.
one moment, he's standing as easily as ever from his spot at the table and crossing over to the stove with every intention of putting on tea. the next, he's slowing to a stop about halfway to his destination - he's forgotten the kettle on the table, or at the very least it's not in his hands, and where else could it be? he can't quite picture where it was sitting on the table. nor can he properly picture the table, or the-... where was he going? something to do with the kitchen. and it was for a reason, but he can't quite grasp it at the moment. it's as though he's grasping at sand - and it's ridiculous, he knows these things make perfect sense, why can't he find any traction?
any slight shift (or even perhaps a particularly audible breath, though he'd have to hear that over his own racing pulse) reminds him abruptly of runyu's presence, sightless gaze darting back to the approximate vicinity of his companion with every intention of offering at least one of a dozen possible assurances, deflections, courteous apologies - but these, too, are sand between his fingers. what comes instead is a quiet abortive: ) I-... ( it's bemused and perhaps even a little bit helpless, not that he quite realizes. amongst the other things he doesn't quite realize but runyu's sure to notice are the tremor in the fingertips peeking out from beneath his sleeves and the not-quite-blue pallor to his lips. )
[ Runyu has worried since the beginning of this secret-ridden disease — there can be no doubt even with the distance placed between the two after his disappearance. He may no longer be hovering or even within the same room as often as Xingchen since their argument, but the threat of the disease affecting someone dear to him — after the loss of his doppleganger, of Li — weighs on Runyu’s every waking thought. The door to his bedroom remains open if he’s within and if he finds himself drawn to the guqin, one hand rests upon the strings to mute the echo. To keep the house quiet. He listens to Xingchen’s movements, applying the intensity of his antennae to observe his paces when he’s beyond his sight. He may even be stalking his companion, but he will not apologize for these actions. Without his spiritual powers to lend him further insight into his condition, this is all he can do.
To mend the rift between them. To protect what remains.
Fortunately, they are both at the table in the morning, taking turns with the proprieties of meals with a guest, and when Xingchen rises without the kettle in hand, Runyu raises an eyebrow. He waits, but Xingchen seems frozen. Runyu closes his eyes, praying that the lapse passes, but the feeble voice that escapes Xingchen causes him to rise. To halt and then look closer.
The fear chokes him at the pallor of his friend’s lips, the tremor that won’t cease.
Runyu reaches out, grasping his sleeve and then his wrist, trying to alleviate the vibrations (and the fear therein). ]
Xingchen?
[ His voice escapes in a low plea, unable to articulate more in this moment, unwilling to cause Xingchen to push him away by pressing, unable to step away and see him suffer. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nov 16th, early afternoon for the note + late afternoon for the text.
Runyu,
I've gone to check in on a friend who lives on the lake just north of Kulen. It's unlike him to fall out of contact. With the fog so close at hand, it's not impossible that something is amiss.
Xingchen
( but a couple of hours later, runyu's laptop receives a message: )
Runyu,
It is as I suspected. My friend ventured to Bavan yesterday and has yet to return. From what I can gather, a band of humans has arrived in the city and taken some of us captive. One can presume that so long as you pass as a resident of this world then you won't be bothered. I urge you to remain as far from Bavan as you're able. Should you choose to take the risk, please, be cautious - and I recommend you consider a more localized form of dress.
If my response is long in coming, it means I've already set out for Bavan. I plan to receive answers.
Xingchen
Re: nov 16th, early afternoon for the note + late afternoon for the text.
He sighs and looks to the small set of number above the message, a kind of device for telling time, and scowls. Not much time has passed. ]
Is there honestly a way for him to stay behind without looking like a coward or unworthy of the assistance he has received?
[ Runyu drops his arms, decision made. ]
I… ha…ve… not hear… d fr…omyou… yet…. I … canwillll make… t he journ ey … to o… assisttt…
[Runyu shakes his head at his incompetence when using this device. More practice will be required.
He closes his eyes, choosing to meditate while he waits for some signal from Xingchen before taking further action.]
forward-dated to late morning of the 21st, five days later
in fact, unless runyu attends the circus (in which xingchen is featured - a blind, nine-tailed, waist-tall ivory fox leaping nimbly through flaming whips at the crack of a whip, but he disappears again once the chaos begins), he sees neither hide nor hair of his housemate for three, four, five days now...
but the morning after the circus falls apart, that selfsame fox makes his way through the front door and shoulders it shut behind him, each step dragging with fatigue. )
My friend, it's only me, ( he calls in from the entry, quiet and weary, as he heads for the room in which he has his personal belongings while runyu stays in his. if he hears or senses the man nearby, he cuts off any potential worry or questions with, ) I'll be right out.
( and then he disappears through the door, shouldering that one gently shut as well. around a minute later, it opens again, and the xingchen who emerges has shifted back into his night form (one which he remains trapped in for another day yet, thanks to the fog) and dressed in loose white clothing which accommodate his overlong legs and his wealth of tails.
at which point he stops, sighing out a - ) Forgive me if I worried you. It wasn't my intention. ( it might be presumptuous to assume that runyu cares enough to be worried, but xingchen doesn't quite have it in him to fuss about it.
as for his condition, he doesn't seem to bleeding (in part thanks to the one spot that is bleeding having been bandaged, the bandages hidden under his upper sleeve), though the claws that runyu is accustomed to seeing along with xingchen's night form are currently ten flat stubs cauterized well below the quick, extending just barely past his fingertips. aside from that, he mostly just seems tired, his usual poise drooping just slightly despite his best efforts. )
Re: forward-dated to late morning of the 21st, five days later
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
OOPS! It got LONG!
(no subject)
(no subject)
i love how we've both accidentally assumed it's toast. fuck it, it's toast now
PFT! So it is! Take a short one for once xD
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
pretend that last tag said 'a little bit longer' rather than 'long', i always notice typos too late
LOL no worries; it happens with me too
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
December 13th
It is quite out of the way from all regular monster activity, just as Jiang Cheng likes it, but since he is expecting guests today, he is waiting for their arrival by the gates. For Xiao Xingchen alone, he wouldn't bother, he is a common enough visitor that he is trusted to navigate the compound by himself, but that would be rude towards a new guest. An elusive guest, Xiao Xingchen has mentioned his housemate but never in detail, guarding his privacy, and Jiang Cheng hadn't pried.
He looks up as he catches sight of them, one familiar, the other a stranger. He salutes, arms in front of him holding a sheathed sword. ]
Welcome to Lotus Pier.
[ OOC: Let's go posting order with Xingchen going next, then Runyu? ]
no subject
at least until today - throughout the walk here, he has offered his houseguest a bit more concrete information. before, he simply knew the name jiang wanyin, that the man lived not far away, and it seemed quite plain that he was xingchen's closest ally here. now, he has been told that jiang wanyin came from his very same realm, in which he led a sect of cultivators who protected those who could not protect themselves. he has also been told of jiang-xiong's designated monstrous form - a simulacrum, the primary trait of which seems to be the way an increasing proportion of their body becomes inorganic, as if made by man. such a thing isn't terribly obvious when you look at jiang wanyin, if the man himself is to be believed, but there's a tinny, hollow quality to his voice that would give such things away regardless.
(he didn't specify that this was in fact the friend who had an unpleasant time in the circus, but it certainly wouldn't be much of a logic leap to guess it - not that anyone here would actually bring such things up.)
the scent of jiang wanyin wafts their way from outside the front gate, because of course it does. in fact, jiang-xiong seems to have put on his sect-leaderly hosting voice, a fact that has xingchen's lips pressing together just slightly in humor he won't quite allow to show. instead, he slows to a stop a couple of yards from where the man waits, dipping his head in greeting before offering, ) Jiang Wanyin, this is Runyu. He arrived in November and has been a most gracious houseguest in the weeks since. ( a 'glance' to runyu, and - ) Runyu, my dearest friend Jiang Wanyin. ( it's fantastically unfair to make jiang-xiong scowl in front of his guest already, and that's likely exactly what those words have done, but what's said is said. )
no subject
For a few moments, he allows himself to wonder what has changed, and what has altered is honestly quite simple. It isn’t being in a new realm where no one knows who he is and what part he has to play for the heavens. Or even being returned to a place of no power and normal skill. It’s having the possibility of trusting more than himself or even one person.
The scales that have healed with the fog itch momentarily as if to remind him of what he’s learned from the past.
Runyu returns to the present, letting his voice drown out the doubts.
Thank you for the invitation. It’s an honor to meet a friend of Xingchen who has been the very essence of hospitality and honor. I hope there comes a time I can repay him for all he has done.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
afternoon on the 13th
but now, he has left the forest, striking out into the open plains where no tree canopy lingers overhead to catch some of the elements before they reach the ground. here, the snow comes up above the knees - and it's this that has forced him back into his bipedal form, far less suited to the elements even with quite so many layers of clothing but much more capable of navigating the deeper snow. it's much slower this way, almost fustratingly so, but at the very least it allows xingchen to function his laptop.
and so runyu receives a message. )
My friend - are you alright?
Jiang Wanyin told me what has happened. I should be there by morning.
Re: afternoon on the 13th
Now, he nibbles on the bread he has taken from the rations as he sends a reply. It is useful and heartening to hear from a friend at this time. ]
Jiang Wanyin is more conscientious about informing others than I have been. I am mostly uninjured. The majority of our enemy here had been humans. They don't have experience but they do have numbers.
no subject
meanwhile, only once he receives a response does xingchen realize how fretful he had truly been. the faint warmth of relief washes through him even before he's properly listened to the words, though he does so now, considering all of that which runyu says. )
Courtesy is hardly important right now. I'm just glad that you're mostly unharmed.
You say they had been humans - have they all been taken over so quickly?
( jiang wanyin had impressed upon him the danger of the situation, certainly, but had failed to convey that they were any sort of outnumbered. though perhaps that makes entirely too much sense, considering who it is that gave him such information. in all likelihood, jiang wanyin sees no 'them' and 'us' - only himself, those who are confirmed to be taken over, and those whom he isn't yet sure of. )
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
it's okay to drop this one since we're swamped, i just needed one more tag to it for AC
jan 20th, evening.
which turned out to be true. that was the part that turned out fine, with the visit falling to hell and back before they even reached the topic of feeding. and while xingchen left lotus pier at relative ease with how all of it ended up, he left with quite a bit to mull over in the solitude of the walk home. enough that he didn't bother to hasten the trip by shifting to travel by fox.
enough that he's half-distracted even as he steps through the front door to their woodland home, not quite stopping to think that this would have been the precise occasion in which it would've been smart to stop and think. if he did, it would've occurred to him quite how it might look to poor runyu, seeing him step through the door with the bandaging around his eyes stained a deep red and some blood on his sleeves and his collar as well. )
I'm home, ( he calls quietly as he shuts the door behind him, loud enough for runyu to hear from his room but quiet enough not to startle him if he's as close as the kitchen table. ) Forgive the hour, time slipped away from me.
Re: jan 20th, evening.
However, the placating words die in his throat at the sight that greets him.
Even if Xingchen’s voice seems calm, his appearance is a stark contrast, blood on his collar and sleeves, and most alarmingly, his eyes. Deep, dark stains. From that moment, Runyu can’t control his emotions or his expression. He gapes and can’t speak, fear strangling him. There could be a rational reason to this sight, but Runyu is too distraught at the sight of his friend’s blood at a time when he has bridged the gap between them. It’s different than the first time this has happened but it’s similar. He had had to confront the anguish between them there. Here, he has taken a step out of the shadows that cloak him since his fall.
Is it the end? Has he taken a wrong step for all again? ]
I-
[ He can’t escape the memories and the creeping terror. He can’t separate this sight with the past. Too many wounds have been ripped open in spite of his friend’s attempts to release him. Too many moments play in the back of his mind again. ]
no subject
but then the man seems to stop short, to so terribly tense where he stands that xingchen can nearly feel it from where he himself slows to a mildly bemused stop. 'i-' ) My friend? ( two words laced with concern. because as bemusing as the sudden stop might have been, the tone in that single halting 'i-' was far more worrisome. he quietly reels for what could have caused such a change, listening, scenting their surroundings for clues - all the while prompting, ) Is something -
( but he doesn't quite finish his own words, either, stopping short with a quiet 'ah' of comprehension, because xingchen has realized what might very well have done it. he's gotten so terribly used to the smell of blood in the journey home that he's managed to forget about it, but it's certainly not forgettable-looking, of this he's quite certain.
exhaling a quiet sigh, he shakes his head, smooth steps closing the distance between them until he can lift a hand to runyu's shoulder. ) My friend, please be at ease, I haven't been injured. If you'll allow me a moment to make myself more presentable, I can explain over tea - does that sound alright?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
<sweaterqueen>
Wanted to drop by and say thank you so much for the dolphin! You didn't have to do that!
<fishfairy>
<sweaterqueen>
It's not what I would call good health when you have to kill people in order to survive.
Re: <sweaterqueen>
<sweaterqueen>
Re: <sweaterqueen>
<sweaterqueen>
Re: <sweaterqueen>
<sweaterqueen>
Re: <sweaterqueen>
<sweaterqueen>
Re: <sweaterqueen>
<sweaterqueen>
(no subject)
(no subject)
I'm sorry for the delay; it's been a rough two weeks.
No worries, I'm having a rough month myself!
Hang in there! And Mabel's breaking Runyu's heart.
event → feb 19th, early evening
(xingchen hasn't slept in three days now. that only mildly strikes him as odd, for the time being - if only because everything about this form is as odd as it is instinctual.)
it's a familiar scent which draws him back today, one which he follows through the trees to its origin at the cottage in the woods. but though he carries many a dim memory of continuing on up the path and entering the home, something stops him at the treeline with a flicker of uncertainty. he can't quite bring himself to approach any further. a sort of comfort lies in the shadow of the trees, something palpable which he can feel even if he isn't able to see it.
and so the next time runyu looks or steps outside, he'll spot a hulking white fox-beast lying on the ground just beyond where the trees begin. as alarming as the beast may be, it's entirely recognizable upon second glance - the lack of eyes, for one, not to mention the wealth of tails flicking restlessly behind him.
ears swivel abruptly to runyu the moment he makes some manner of sound, but no further move is made. )
no subject
His right hand, the one with the mermaid pearl bracelet on his wrist, clenches around a broken chord, the coin pendant pressed bloody against his hand. It’s the only light he has left.
The only guide he has to end this nightmare. ]
Li-er, free Mother. Let her go. You can’t keep doing this. ( The weeping of a woman petters off for a few slow, agonized steps before a screech tears at the night scenery. ) YOU DUMB BOY HOW-HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME! CAN’T YOU DO ONE THING RIGHT?! This, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!
[ Runyu collapses on the ground, ducking his head. ]
I can’t, Mother. I can’t.
[ His body is quaking. He's curled around the arm that now holds the remnants of her. But he can’t kill her. He can’t witness that again. Even if this is a horrible curse set upon him, it’s one thing he can’t bear. His hand tighten to the point of another trickle of blood running down his arm from where the coin is digging into his skin.
One more thing. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
backdated all the way to june 4th, early evening
like runyu, lost amidst the very fog which sent xingchen back to the coffin house he had so recently departed. he has no true worry that runyu might still be out there - xingchen had warned him of the disorienting nature of the mist, the way it had separated him from jiang wanyin once already, and had urged runyu to meet him back at their home if such a thing were to come to pass. his dear friend has likely retreated there by now, however diligent his search to find xingchen - but since then he's gotten no word, no sign of life. he must be terribly concerned. xingchen certainly would be.
that was part of his decision to depart from lotus pier - apart from the undeniable fact that jiang wanyin deserves to rest and recover from today in a way that he won't be able to if he's fretting uselessly over xingchen's throat, the thought of runyu anxiously pacing the length of their sitting room and kitchen is more than enough reason to make his way home as soon as he's able, to put runyu's mind at relative ease.
'relative' being the key word, of course. xingchen doesn't expect a great degree of success, considering... well. considering the state in which he's returning. and not just that, xingchen recalls as much in a rush just fifteen minutes from home. runyu learned of his death this morning, too, and they may not have had time for the man to dwell on that at the time, but he has had many troubled hours since to roll it around in his mind, to wound himself on the sharpest of its edges without xingchen there to intervene.
what an unfortunate time to have to travel by foot instead of fox. xingchen recognizes the necessity of it - shifting would disrupt the bandaging and quite possibly some of the scant healing the fog has granted him thus far - but that does nothing to ease his worry, and though he travels now without his false-sight to assist him, he picks up the pace of his steps regardless.
it's an hour or so before sunset when xingchen finally makes his way through the front door of the cottage in the woods, closing it behind him with perhaps a bit more care than necessary as he listens, senses, attempting to gather where runyu might be and his prevailing state. for his own part, the xingchen who arrives is quite a bit less concerning than the one jiang wanyin dragged from the coffin home, and honestly, less concerning even than the one which runyu discovered there as well. his posture has recovered its usual poise, and his steps are steady. the robes he now wears are crisp and clean, albeit an incriminating shade of purple (there's truly no denying that his own were no longer in any state to wear), and pristine white bandaging is wrapped around his throat and one hand. but though it may be clean, the bandaging is heavy, wrapped thick around layers of gauze to absorb any further bleeding. his eyes, too, are bandaged more heavily now. perhaps not with gauze, but a second tighter layer of bandaging now sits inside his usual blindfold.
as soon as he locates runyu, his lips curl in a faint reassuring smile, and he steps a bit further into the kitchen to set frostwork (also diligently cleaned) aside on a patch of counter. ) My friend, forgive me, ( is his greeting, warm but with a notes of regret and concern, ) I didn't intend to worry you. Are you alright? ( xingchen can't quite smell any blood beyond the faint muffled scent of his own, but he's not yet prepared to trust his own senses with something quite so important. )
OOOOPS! It's LONG xD
Xingchen had already been bleeding when they’d been separated. From his hand and from his throat. Where Runyu had realized how his friend had died after all of the suffering Xue Yang put him through but couldn’t ask due to the need to deal with his friend’s burdens while the bleeding caused by the ominous fog was minimal. While any from his own past were minimal. And if that hadn’t been all he needed to worry about, the fog had kept shifting and revealing more bodies to bury. Pulling out more witnesses, more false faces, to Xingchen’s unfortunate sins. Their time together in the woods, in the Coffin House, had been short relatively, but the details there had stirred up a storm of tangled emotions.
The disdain for the forces at work in the woods settle in him the most, a familiar darkness he could retreat to when rage is impotent without a name or face to condemn. When his most important friend has been suffering for most of a day without him and he’s helpless to assist without causing more worry. Because he couldn’t escape that phantomed malice unscathed either.
Shortly after being separated, Runyu had collapsed, coughing up a mouthful of blood on the ground as a certain chest wound finally reopened, one when opened he could no longer sustain without repercussions without his immortal powers. Swallowing bile, Runyu had had no choice but to retreat lest worse wounds pummel him, either from the battle between his brother and himself or worst, his punishment at the hands of the Immortals of Thunder and Lightning. Staying longer would have been a detriment to them both, and that was something Runyu would not allow on his weakened friend if he were the cause.
He’d take any misfortunes for himself but he would allow none from his person to haunt Xingchen, selfish though that may be. His gratitude, no, friendship demands such, at the very least.
And fortunately, the residual pain from that wound abated with his departure from the area, hastened by him daring to take to the skies to reach home fast enough to deal with it on his own.
It isn’t only the pain and exertion from the wound that detains Runyu for the better part of an hour. The blow had been a merciful one, not meant to take his life, after all. However, the wakened burn in his chest brings up a twisted mix of relief and regret, borne from his sins of the past and being forever unable to finish atoning for them as long as he clings to this reality. Stalling the bleeding with gauze and bandages is tantamount to refusing to look back this time and accepting the sin of such an action. It’s exhausting, even if he feels, once more, liberated by it when he’s clothed himself in new robes and has prepared a pot of tea.
Then, the pot of tea grows cold, and the sun moves across the horizon. Worry turns inward, blaming his choices for anything that has happened to his friend, wrestling with images of him dying alone in that haunted scene. He tries holding the amulet that gives him so much peace, a wellspring of hope, even going into meditation with his hand clasped around it. But the pressing of time in this reality refuses to let go of him. Perhaps it would be better if he had paced the room as Xingchen has done before, but he’s far too used to nurturing the darkest fears of his mind alone, in stillness and silence.
Twice he nearly goes to the guqin but fails to find the courage to approach it, too trapped in the miasma of harm that could have befallen his friend to seek its sweet comfort.
Finally he has risen to start some food, something that neither of them need but sometimes offers comfort to them, and yet he couldn’t seem to get past the sluggish movements of gathering the ingredients.
The strike of clarity that reaches him with Xingchen’s voice and appearance is heartening, but this is the first time Runyu has ever waited so long for someone to come back to him since accepting the importance of Ryslig. It’s too easy to lose himself in the wounds he’s caused others and could have caused Xingchen simply by wishing to be allowed to stay by him longer. His throat remains stuck, even more so as he examines him for harm, filing each bandage and change away for a couple more minutes. To take better note of when his head is truly clear of the darkness of his fear and loneliness. Being unable to talk and mindful of his friend’s state, he instead reaches, the fingers trembling, for his arm and takes hold of his sleeve. He can’t harm him further because there’s a wave of need inside him for just holding him, yet another thing no one has allowed him.
Xingchen doesn’t have to apologize for anything because he has come back. When Runyu’s past this weakness, it will be that simple, but for now, that same person wants to feel even a fraction of his friend's warmth without explaining himself. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
oct 21, just before midnight.
Are you alright? I'm sure that I'm fretting over nothing, but you've typically come home well before now.
- Xingchen
oct 22, morning.
I had thought that you might arrive home in the night, but it seems that I was mistaken.
Please, if you can, let me know that you're alright.
- Xingchen
oct 24, mid-day.
Oct. 25, evening
as of the evening of nov ~5th
Evening of November 8 (after Lotus Pier)
text, about 2:30 am on nov 9th
Text about 3 am, same night
timeskip to a bit later at 10 AM
(no subject)
while Runyu is out of contact
[ He had not intended to get involved in this matter between friends, but there comes a point when his annoyance and frustration with the matter is too great to keep silent. He has never been good at keeping silent anyway. ]
Runyu,
I don't care if you don't want to see or talk to anyone.
But make sure your business is resolved before you disappear, and don't make it someone else's mess to clean up. I don't want to know what happened with Altair. I don't care. But now Xiao Xingchen is forced to fight your battles.
Resolve this, or I will hunt you down and drag you back to Altair.
Jiang Wanyin
Re: while Runyu is out of contact
[ Runyu doesn't reply to the message. He hasn't even read it, having closed his laptop after Xingchen's three messages. The temptation to ignore the danger he presents is too great to keep watching. ]
Evening on November 8th
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(closing this one finally)
feb 19th, late morning. (for runyu + jc.)
but it's hardly fair of him to pretend such a choice is entirely unilateral. apart from disclosing that he's affected mildly and intends to seek assistance from the facility in haftesal on the 20th, xingchen has gently but smoothly deflected any inquiry on his own condition thus far, even though stubbornly masking it as such is no doubt making it measurably more uncomfortable in the interim. but that's all well enough. discomfort isn't dangerous. perhaps it takes most of his discipline not to cough when each swallow constricts around little velvety vines, or when fluttering petals tickle at his throat with all but the shallowest of breaths. and perhaps the ache in each socket has swollen enough to throb faintly with each beat of his heart. and perhaps he might even be losing sleep, because no amount of discipline prepares one to fall asleep to the feeling of something writhing (slowly but diligently) along the alarmingly sensitive cavities where one's eyes should be.
but none of that, by xingchen's standards, is reason to adjust their plans. he chose to delay seeking aid for good reason, and wanyin had agreed - both to allow those who needed the procedure far more urgently to receive it first, and to monitor the outcomes thereof. these medical researchers seem to mean well enough thus far, but the blessedly slow progression of his own case of this 'death-flower disease' has granted him the luxury to wait and hear of at least the procedure's initial results.
or so he certainly thought.
one moment, he's standing as easily as ever from his spot at the table and crossing over to the stove with every intention of putting on tea. the next, he's slowing to a stop about halfway to his destination - he's forgotten the kettle on the table, or at the very least it's not in his hands, and where else could it be? he can't quite picture where it was sitting on the table. nor can he properly picture the table, or the-... where was he going? something to do with the kitchen. and it was for a reason, but he can't quite grasp it at the moment. it's as though he's grasping at sand - and it's ridiculous, he knows these things make perfect sense, why can't he find any traction?
any slight shift (or even perhaps a particularly audible breath, though he'd have to hear that over his own racing pulse) reminds him abruptly of runyu's presence, sightless gaze darting back to the approximate vicinity of his companion with every intention of offering at least one of a dozen possible assurances, deflections, courteous apologies - but these, too, are sand between his fingers. what comes instead is a quiet abortive: ) I-... ( it's bemused and perhaps even a little bit helpless, not that he quite realizes. amongst the other things he doesn't quite realize but runyu's sure to notice are the tremor in the fingertips peeking out from beneath his sleeves and the not-quite-blue pallor to his lips. )
no subject
To mend the rift between them. To protect what remains.
Fortunately, they are both at the table in the morning, taking turns with the proprieties of meals with a guest, and when Xingchen rises without the kettle in hand, Runyu raises an eyebrow. He waits, but Xingchen seems frozen. Runyu closes his eyes, praying that the lapse passes, but the feeble voice that escapes Xingchen causes him to rise. To halt and then look closer.
The fear chokes him at the pallor of his friend’s lips, the tremor that won’t cease.
Runyu reaches out, grasping his sleeve and then his wrist, trying to alleviate the vibrations (and the fear therein). ]
Xingchen?
[ His voice escapes in a low plea, unable to articulate more in this moment, unwilling to cause Xingchen to push him away by pressing, unable to step away and see him suffer. ]